The place where we usually hang-out.
It’s you and me just chilling out.
The times where we have nothing to worry about.
Then Friday came, you lost the spark.
That moment arrived, my world seemed dark.
And now we’re hiding, from the past that’s stark.
How I wish I could, ’cause I know I should.
While I brood, I chop a wood.
One for my mood, another for my food.
I love it…fun interpretation…there is a piece after the first or second stanza left unknown or not understood and I think it is very effective…very cool
Invite you to check out my writing: http://wp.me/p1aAEA-tz
Madison Woods pulled off a poem last week and I just thought I could do it too. Thanks for dropping by Kris. Will be heading to yours now.
Poor guy. A jilted lover….it still made me smile!
Here is mine!
I don’t know how but I was really writing a flash fiction when it turned into a poem after editing. I’m sorry for the guy, I made him bitter. They’re actually bestfriends at first then turned into lovers in the revision. Heading back to your blog again. Thanks for reading.
“How I wish I could, ’cause I know I should.”
i’m wondering what he’s thinking here. my guess is either calling that person, trying to talk to them, or maybe apologize. i like that it’s not entirely spelled out and there’s something to still think about.
Thanks for pointing that out. I read it again, and you’re right. it could mean something else. I didn’t intended it but it went that way anyway.
it’s good though. it lets people read it how they want and imagine themselves what it is.
I agree with RIch above. There is a lot of room for interpretation here and the reader can take away from the poem what they want. I like that.
Here’s mine: http://postcardfiction.com/2012/04/13/the-incident/
Thanks Janet. Now heading to your entry.
Interesting, though provoking, and well done.
Thanks! Will be reading yours now.
I liked it! Here is mine http://jemcogdell.blogspot.com/2012/04/running.html
Thanks! I have troubles commenting in a blogger site but I’ll read your post anyway. Have a great weekend.
It has that break, or breath, or missing scene–something happened. What isn’t there speaks as loudly as what is.
I thought that I can write another rhyme for what happened. It was there but I can’t find a rhyme so I scrapped it. Thanks for reading.
Another nice, simple, sweet poem. I personally prefer to read prose however. Here’s mine:
Hello. Hope you enjoyed reading this one. I’ll try to write a prose next time. Heading to yours now.
The rhyme and rhythm of this is spot-on. And the flow of the story is interesting.
Thanks. I intended to write another stanza but I think it’s already fine with 3 stanzas. Heading to your site now.
Your poem actually rhymed! I can never do that. I liked it, it had good flow and told a little story of a man who’s love lost her spark. Maybe if he chops enough wood, he’ll work it out.
Thanks! At first, I actually created a lyrics of a song then I thought that I can aim for a poem so here it is.
Another good poem. WIsh I could do poetry. You make it look so easy. Good job.
Thanks. Will be reading yours now.