Things Sigmund Freud Never Knew

Saturday, 9:53 AM, June 12, 2010.

Here are some thoughts that I pondored while drinking tea and listening to Parachutes, an album by Coldplay.

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1.
In the courting stage, he thinks that he should do the most romantic act.
While she just wants him to say the most romantic lines.

2.
If she wants to know him more, she’s just being friendly.
If he wants to know her more, he’s interested in her.

3.
If he’s not sure that she loves him, he will never say “I love you.”
If he does, ask him “Really?”
And there goes the fool who’s going to prove it with his actions.
But she just want him to repeat what he said.

4.
If she hear him say it, she might appear to ignore him.
But she will talk about it will her friend.
If he sees her ignore it, he goes with his friend and ask “What should I do?”

5.
If she says “I love you”, he should answer it back.
If he says “I love you”, there she goes feeling it.

6.
If he’s angry, he wants to punch the wall and break his fists.
If she’s angry, she wants to bring down the wall with her endless words.

7.
If he becomes quiet, she interprets he’s upset.
The truth is that he’s just thinking while staring at blank space.

8.
If she becomes quiet, he says “Alas, peace and quiet.”
The truth is that she’s upset with him and he’s on trouble.

9.
If she asks a question, he thinks that there she goes again asking something to solve and analyze.
The truth is that the answer is in the question that she states.
Just stand there and appear to be listening men.
Ask her the question again then you’ll find the answer in the question she stated.

10.
If she’s asking, he should not anticipate to solve it.
If you ask her, anticipate that he will solve it.
But dear, tell him that he should just listen there and not think about it.
He’ll be delighted because he will just stand there and not think.
But don’t fret, he will listen.

11.
If there’s music, she will dance gracefully.
If there’s music, he will dance dumbfully.

12.
If she talks to him indirectly and he doesn’t understand it, she becomes upset.
If he sees her upset, he asks himself “What’s the problem?”

13.
If she says “I don’t care”, she does really care.
If he says “I don’t care”, he doesn’t really care.
If she says “I hate you!”, she hates what you did.
If he says “I hate you!”, it doesn’t matter.
He will never say it. He will curse instead.

14.
If she’s paranoid, you ask her “What’s the problem?” and make sure you listen.
If he’s paranoid, just ask him to relax and take a deep breath.

15.
If she’s on trouble, he asks himself “What should I do?”
If he’s on trouble, she asks herself “What should I say?”

16.
Why it took me a decade to know all these things?

17.
Any violent reactions? Please feel free to punch the wall.
Any violent reactions? Please feel free to write it in the wall.

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Post Note: I posted it unedited. I wrote it to humor myself and my realizations after reading Why Men Don’t Listen and Women Can’t Read Maps by Barbara Pease and Allan Pease. And take note that this is a scheduled post since I should be offline by this time.