From being an aspiring engineer, to a Psychology degree holder, then an aspiring Marist Brother and a future teacher, I’m really amazed what life has to offer me with it’s somehow amazing twists and surprises. As I look back, I know I’ve planned for this a bit but I didn’t really expect that it’ll turn out like this; that I’ll become what I am now, a novice of a religious Institution.
Sometimes, I can’t help but to ask myself in disbelief, “Am I really doing this now?” Before, I’m just dreaming that I’ll be in a place where everyone respects me, where contemplation and hurrying is essential in living, that I’ll be in a place where I can just be myself and just taking all things slow. But now that I’m really living what I have in mind before, like wearing a soutane or giving some talks and recollections to students, each moment that I experience now is so surreal. I’m in awe and I’m lost of words of how to describe what I am feeling now.
I admit that at times, there’s a bit of feeling of unworthiness in my part that makes me say, “This is too good to be true. I should not be here.” But instead of regretting what I am doing at present, I just let myself be what I’m supposed to be now. I might not be that good and unworthy in my own perspective and in the eyes of other, but what am I to decline and not accept these blessings? Remember that a blessing ignored becomes a curse. This is my way of being thankful: being open to the present moment. I’m truly blessed and grateful of what I am now.
How about you, what are you grateful for at the moment?