Imaginary conversations

Last week, I got disrespected by a close acquaintance. While my body temperature is rising due to the embarrassment, I’m holding an imaginary response in my head as a rebuttal. And as I am constructing a scene in my head, I can now hold my emotions in check.

For me, constructing imaginary conversations works effectively when I’m trying to assert strong emotions like anger. In doing that, I try to pick a close friend whom I know that can handle emotions properly. Since our friends cannot always be present, having imaginary dialogues with friends is convenient. The friends I pick for my imaginary talks are my close confidants whom I share secrets. They are good listeners.

In my head, I imagine my friend asking me questions like:

1. What happened?

2. How are you feeling.

Afterwards, I respond to them openly and honestly, slowly confiding my darkest emotions. What’s good with picking my closest friends in holding imaginary conversations is that they most certainly know what makes me angry. In that reason, they can empathize with my feelings.

I know it will work with people having strong imagination. The beauty of it is that since we’re just imagining things, it’s not real of course. And since they aren’t real, it’s just fine when you break down during the imaginary talk. But if possible, always try to restrain anger. Since we know that they’re just living in your head momentarily, be open. Another thing is that they won’t ask you for anything like treating them in a restaurant or a merry-go-round ride. So go ahead and create imaginary conversations. Let your imagination run wild.

With regards to the one who offended me, we’re in good terms now. I’ve forgiven him already.

"Imagination!" - Sponge Bob

A list of things I wish I said

Topic #295:

We all have experiences where after we leave a conversation, or a date ends, we realize something clever we wish we had said.

The French call this l’esprit de l’escalier, which means, roughly, staircase wit (as in, you get the idea for something to say only when you are in the staircase, heading home).

Can you recall moments in your life, at work or at home, where you realize now there was something else you wish you had said? Or done? Make a list.

Thinking about it, these kinds of moments makes you either regret or do better next time. I know there’s a pattern or common occurrence whenever this happens, like being assertive and expressing my emotions for example. To be honest, I’m just wasting my time now waiting for myself to become sleepy. I’m not yet in the mood to take a nap because I’m again feeling apprehensive towards my flight to the south this noon. So bear with me and I’ll put an incomplete list of things I wish I said:

Warning: The following list contains Tagalog words. But I’ll put a rough translation so others can comprehend to them.

SITUATION #1: A lot of times when I wish I said affectionate words personally to someone who’s very special.

What should have been said: I wish I said these words personally: “Mahal kita (I love you).” Very brief words.

SITUATION #2: I have sometimes been taken out of the context because of saying something out of my wrong choice of words. It’s like hurrying to speak when I could pause for a while before speaking. These are the times when I am interpreted as arrogant when in fact I just don’t wanna be bothered by anyone. A certain situation I encountered with this kind of context was when I’m talking with somebody in a heated discussion but a common friend of ours suddenly butted in our conversation and wants to join. Trying to tell him to back off for a while, I said: “Wag kang epal (Don’t butt in, you don’t belong).” Of course, the friend of ours cursed when he heard my remarks so I apologized immediately. But the damage has been done so I learned something from it.

What should have been said: I could say better choice of words like “Kami na muna. Next time ka na lang muna. (Please don’t meddle. I’ll deal with you later, okay?)”

I’ll update this later, so please bear with this published draft of mine. Thanks!

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