Truly, it is better to give than to receive

1. While checking the examination papers, I am surprised with the profoundness of one student. It seems that she is not fourteen years old; she is way ahead of her peers in terms of maturity.
2. Last Tuesday, accompanied by her sister, she was the only student who gave me a gift as her appreciation. I learned later that she also gave gifts to her other teachers as her Christmas presents. I got a tumbler from her.
3. This gesture, though it’s simple, warms the hearts of teachers. Truly, it is better to give than to receive. As a teacher, I realize that I am giving more than what I am supposed to offer to my students. It is more than the lessons and grades I give. What is it then? It is my presence.
4. I hope that more than anything else, my students will treasure my presence the most. I am priviledged to be able to share my life with them inside and outside the classroom. I am blessed to be able to witness their blossoming to adulthood.
5. Now, I am thinking of writing a draft of a goodbye letter to the NDC community: all personnel, parents, GIA scholars, and specially the students. Before the school year ends, I usually write a letter to the people who have touched me and made a difference my life.
6. I’m teary eyed right now. Yes, I am a such a sensitive man. Because the school year is almost finished, I have to leave people behind here in the school. Good byes are real and I am leaving next April.
7. I know I have my failings throughout this year. I admit that. Mea maxima culpa. And if ever I have offended people even if I did not mean it, I am sorry for that.
8. Today is my brother’s birthday today, it’s almost Christmas and 2017 is about to end. It’s a year of hellos and goodbyes.
9. I will attend a recollection on December 31 to thank God for all the blessings and ask pardon for my shortcomings.
10. Thanks for reading my streams of thought. Goodbye.

Are you uncomfortable with silence?

I’m not a talker… I’m more of a listener. Recently, during a spiritual direction session, I and the spiritual director (S.D.) just sat in silence. I’m just… well… trying to anticipate a question or a response from what I just said earlier. I was expecting him to talk.

We spent 5 minutes in an uncomfortable silence without talking.

Then my director got his notebook, turned the pages, then read what he wrote about our previous session. He expected me to be the one to talk! Closing the notebook, he followed that he encourages me to pause so I can reflect carefully. 

This is not the first time that it happened to me. Before religious life, it was during courtship and dating. Now, it is during a spiritual direction.

That’s why last Tuesday, I told my S.D. that I really found the silence uncomfortable and I will tell him whenever I expect him to talk or comment when I’m finished talking. Like tennis, I serve then you hit the ball back to me. But in a spiritual direction, I need to ask whenever the “ball” is on my court because I don’t usually see it.

Have you experienced this uncomfortable silence?

What will I miss if I did not blog

It seems that I haven’t been posting lately in this blog when I’m always online, huh? Slow internet? Yes. So what I’m gonna do next is not to load up WordPress but just use my e-mail and post by e-mail.

I said to my accompaniteur that I am writing frequently in my journal in a form of a blog. Honestly? No. It should have been visible here. This is a “sigh” post, a guilt or a compulsion to post something just to develop the habit of blogging (or writing?).

It’s not anxiety about being offline. I almost (not totally) lived without internet for more than two years.

Blogging here is a way of looking back at my life journey. That’s why I miss blogging because I’m gonna miss a lot of uncaptured moments not posted here. Anyone are welcome to read my thoughts. Anyway, it’s just English thoughts and I’m not a native speaker anyway. Yeah, that’s right. My actual “inner voice” is not just English. I’m Tagalog.

Bottom line here is that I just want to get back the blogging habit starting with this post.

Sample scenario that I could have miss: I could have met the Pope personally (who is in South Korea right now) this Feast of Assumption (a big feast for us Marist).

Slow internet? No problem. Post-by-email. End of story.

Have a blessed weekend everyone.