On teenagers, my Grade 8 English teacher, and Nihongo classes

Hello WordPress,

Story time!

Since I entered my second year of being a Scholastic and passed the licensure for teachers last 2015, I started my teaching career and lived a busy life for the next three years. Since entering in the active ministry as a young Brother, I celebrate everytime we have holidays by just staying in the house of course except when Br. Ador would initiate us to go somewhere like going to Lebak which I also loved doing too. I think last year was the busiest year of my life where I handled a homeroom, table tennis boys team, and the Grant-in-Aid Scholars while teaching more than 23 hours a week! I don’t know if it’s just me but the preparation for Values Education 8 (Christology), Religious Education 11 (Faith and Revelation), and World Religions and Belief Systems 12 during the first two quarters made me anxious more than the actual teaching. Since I only took 18 units of Education subjects, I think that’s where the struggle was from. Don’t get me wrong though. I love teaching in high school. The paper works were dreadful though. I know some teachers dread not only the paper works but the dealing with high schoolers. Yeah, I admit I had those moments but I refuse to feed those feelings and keep on going instead. Puberty and teenage years can be an emotional rollercoaster ride which affects even for us teachers too. Those are the rebellious years of their youth and I have been there so I understand.

When I was in high school, I cannot understand myself why I get so emotional at times. I remember how my heart beats whenever I see my crush, my English teacher at Grade 8. I developed a friendship with her and I would be very at ease talking to her because I like her so much. Hehehe! I think my English improved much because of her inspiration and I would admit that my handwriting was patterned from her handwriting. Looking back, I think I was influenced by her in terms of my teaching style on the manner how she treated us her students and her honesty with us. As our school is an exclusive for boys, we too had given her a hard time in class at times but her command in class and composure would win our rebelliousness and boyish-ness. Maintaining a good relationship outside the classroom with students is something I learned from her too. She would then transfer in a university and become an instructor or professor. As a college student, I remember seeing her on the jeepney stop and we would again talk for a long time even on the train until she would stop on Legarda station and I would say goodbye. I would see her again on our ride to our respective schools and talk non-stop. After 2008, I never saw her after that. Since I remembered her, I thank God for her presence and influence to me. She taught me a lot not only about English but also about maintaining good relationships with students. Ma’am Ginnie, wherever you are, maraming salamat po!

Well, I didn’t intend this post to be a tribute to her and I just ended up writing about her because of her strong influence to me when it comes to being a teacher.

Now as a Nihongo student, I enjoy this moment of learning a new language everytime I step inside the classroom. I suck in pre-class preparations though. Our classes would be only for 2 hours but at times, it feels so long or very fast depending on the difficulty and my attention span.

Being a teacher for 3 years changed my perspective when it comes to learning. I now know how to anticipate questions in tests because I used to make test questions. I enjoy every moment as a student and will take my time and learn at my own pace. Besides, I still intend to teach in the future. Who knows? Maybe I can teach Nihongo too in the future.

God bless you all.

Peace! ✌️

Truly, it is better to give than to receive

1. While checking the examination papers, I am surprised with the profoundness of one student. It seems that she is not fourteen years old; she is way ahead of her peers in terms of maturity.
2. Last Tuesday, accompanied by her sister, she was the only student who gave me a gift as her appreciation. I learned later that she also gave gifts to her other teachers as her Christmas presents. I got a tumbler from her.
3. This gesture, though it’s simple, warms the hearts of teachers. Truly, it is better to give than to receive. As a teacher, I realize that I am giving more than what I am supposed to offer to my students. It is more than the lessons and grades I give. What is it then? It is my presence.
4. I hope that more than anything else, my students will treasure my presence the most. I am priviledged to be able to share my life with them inside and outside the classroom. I am blessed to be able to witness their blossoming to adulthood.
5. Now, I am thinking of writing a draft of a goodbye letter to the NDC community: all personnel, parents, GIA scholars, and specially the students. Before the school year ends, I usually write a letter to the people who have touched me and made a difference my life.
6. I’m teary eyed right now. Yes, I am a such a sensitive man. Because the school year is almost finished, I have to leave people behind here in the school. Good byes are real and I am leaving next April.
7. I know I have my failings throughout this year. I admit that. Mea maxima culpa. And if ever I have offended people even if I did not mean it, I am sorry for that.
8. Today is my brother’s birthday today, it’s almost Christmas and 2017 is about to end. It’s a year of hellos and goodbyes.
9. I will attend a recollection on December 31 to thank God for all the blessings and ask pardon for my shortcomings.
10. Thanks for reading my streams of thought. Goodbye.

How I take responsibility for my actions

In the film The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug, there was a dialogue that stuck in me when Bilbo Baggins saw Smaug about to fly off to Laketown. He said, “What have we done?”

I remembered this line because it talks about accepting one’s fault even though a one did not intended the consequences of one’s actions. For example, acting in good faith. I may have the best-est of all intentions but if I end up messing up, as a cliché says, the end does not justify the means.

While I was playing a video game, I remembered my recent interactions with some subordinates. I think I’ve done something wrong and they hinted it through a passive-aggresive remark and until now I am still wondering what exactly I did wrong. When I assume leadership, I admit I sometimes tend to overlook some people in the group particularly those who seem to be so sensitive. I never intend to do so but whenever I do overlook some people, I see now the pattern how these people react. And four out of four of them happened to have some father issues.

Maybe a family problem? Probably transference? Seeing me as their father figure? Am I too intimidating? Or maybe I’m just overthinking or rationalizing. I have to stop seeking the fault outside myself now.

I have to remind myself again that what’s done is done; I can’t bring back the time; I am not fail-proof; I am failure-prone; I cannot do it all; I cannot control the results. And sometimes even if it’s not my fault, I cannot make everything feel alright. It’s out of my reach. Or maybe it’s because I’m just a people pleaser. But I’m bound to fail because I can’t please everybody. And as the lyrics of a song goes, I did my best but I guess my best wasn’t good enough.

This is were humility comes. I now let St. Catherine of Siena to remind me that I am not who I think I am. I may have done something wrong, so mea culpa. So I now let it go and let the Lord do His work. I’ll try again next time and let tomorrow worry about itself.

And this is how an introverted and intuitive thinker perceives his interactions with others when he sees something’s wrong and he thinks he’s the problem though he’s not (or maybe he really is the problem).